
TRUMP’S BID TO BECOME BORN-AGAIN FAILS AS JESUS TURNS DOWN FRIEND REQUEST
The New Yorker | 27 June 2016
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.
Jesus,
who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance
on the social network on Monday to announce his decision to ignore the
presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship
with him.
In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”
The
turndown from Jesus Christ, the inspiration behind one of the world’s
most prominent religions, caps what has been a tough month for the Trump
campaign.
Privately, campaign
staffers fretted that the candidate would pen a disparaging tweet about
Jesus, which might alienate evangelical voters in key battleground
states.
But, at a rally in
Pennsylvania, Trump made no reference to Jesus, and instead touted
endorsements he had received from Gary Busey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and
Joe (the Plumber) Wurzelbacher.
You gotta be kidding, Jesus is on FB?
ReplyDeleteSo, Mark Zuckerberg can block Jesus anytime if he pisses the Mark off?
Who is controlling whom, now?