Pseng-Pseng: Funny News From 2018 Elections

Pseng-Pseng

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Funny News From 2018 Elections

“… its [Hun Sen’s elections] legitimacy is arguably no lesser than the other [Malaysian recent elections], because … it was a multi-party election. And it is not a sure thing that had the CNRP been allowed to participate, it would have won.”

Davan Long, 9 August 2018, Bangkok Post Opinion

“It took Malaysians over 60 years to change a government. If Cambodia were to follow their example, it still has 30 more years to go…” [sic]

Davan Long, 9 August 2018, Bangkok Post Opinion

“The general picture before and after the election, and the stance of the GDP, is that the CNRP effectively handed the National Assembly’s full 125 seats to the CPP when it urged people to boycott the elections or spoil their ballot.”

Grassroots Democratic Party (GDP) President Yang Saing Koma, 2 August 2018, The Phnom Penh Post

« អ្នកឯងហ៊ានចោទថា ប្រជាពលរដ្ឋត្រូវគេបំប៉ោង ត្រូវគេបំភិតបំភ័យ ត្រូវគេស្អីអ៊ីចេះអ៊ីចុះ។ ហ៊ានស្បថឬ អត់? បើហ៊ាន ឥឡូវបង្ហោះតាមហ្វេសប៊ុកមក។ ឥឡូវ ខ្ញុំសូមស្បថមុន ស្បថឲ្យងាប់គ្រប់ទម្រង់ ឲ្យតែយមរាជចង់ ឲ្យខ្ញុំងាប់ឡានបុកក៏ដោយ ធ្លាក់កប៉ាល់ហោះក៏ដោយ ខ្សែភ្លើងឆក់ក៏ដោយ រន្ទះបាញ់ក៏ដោយ ស្អីក៏ដោយ ប្រភេទស្អីក៏ដោយ ឲ្យតែងាប់ ។ អ្នកឯងហ៊ានទេ? រុញអ្នកឯងឲ្យដល់ ជញ្ជាំងតែម្ដង។ »

នាយករដ្ឋមន្ត្រី ហ៊ុនសែន ​ថ្ងៃទី​៧ ខែ​សីហា ឆ្នាំ​២០១៨ ភ្នំពេញប៉ុស្តិ៍

“But I have noted some pressure and fear [in the elections] too.”

Centre for Policy Studies Director Chan Sophal, 1 August 2018, Campro

Besides news and fake news, there is funny news. A Campro member defines it as the one that is hilarious if untrue.

The 2018 elections bring out many pieces of funny news. Davan Long claims twenty parties participating in the July elections are numerous enough for an election legitimacy, hence for Hun Sen’s new government. It is irrelevant that nineteen of them are feeble and must depend on one gigantic party to run the elections with pre-arranged outcomes.

Long also argues a forced absence of the only formidable party from competing the elections does not affect the legitimacy – because it is uncertain that it can win. Long decides on behalf of voters which party can or cannot win before allowing them to partake. Thus, he must believe these nineteen feeble parties can win. Who is he kidding, besides himself?

Another piece of funny news from Long is, as it takes 60 years for Malaysia to change a government, Cambodia will need another 30 years to do likewise. What Long ignores, or does not know, is that for the past 61 years, Malaysia has had seven prime ministers presiding over at least seven governments. Nevertheless, Cambodia can still match this Malaysian record if it is to have six different premiers in the next three decades.

Then there is a Khmer Rise Party in the elections. By Long’s funny criterion for competing in elections, this party must be able to win. Yet, its president Soksovann Vatthanasarapong does not put his name down as a candidate. He tells RFI listeners his reason: he wants free time and freedom to conduct election campaigns and connect with communities and voters. How amusing.

Another Long’s winnable is the GDP. But it loses; and its president puts a blame on CNRP for calling an election boycott, during which he has still predicted a 75% voter turnout and claimed a higher turnout will give his party a better chance of victory.

As it happens, the turnout is higher at 83% but only 70,587 voters favour GDP. A funny part is that a CNRP spin-off Khmer Will Party, founded merely a month before the elections, secures 212,869 votes with 65% of its candidates being former CNRP grassroot members.

Perhaps the funniest news of all is Hun Sen’s resort to a death’s oath in response to his opponents’ allegation that his elections are rigged with an inflated turnout, threats, coercions, intimidations, etc. If the allegation is proven, Hun Sen swears to die in any manner as lord of death Yama desires, including gruesome deaths. This is a real deal for those who subscribe to primitive beliefs like Hun Sen.

Does Hun Sen really mean it when claiming his re-election is clean? Either he is hallucinating in his own reality, or he is a compulsive liar. Even his staunch supporters, like Chan Sophal, admit there are pressure and fear in the elections. Still, if the oath turned effective, Long’s wish for another 30 years of Hun Sen would not come true.

Ung Bun Ang

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Fake News You Can Use

Here is a mind-your-own-business warning CPP spokesman Sok Eysan issues to all foreigners. Yes, they all ought to keep their nose out of the stinky dump and take a hike with their duty-free concessional import policies for developing nations. They are interfering in Cambodia affairs and violating Cambodia’s sovereignty – as if it has one – for making negative comments and unreasonable demands on Hun Sen’s rule.

Except for China and Vietnam, of course.

Since Hun Sen’s Cambodia has already become an honourary conjoint China-Vietnam, it is not an interference in Cambodian state affairs for China-Vietnam to fund and run the, economy, resources, elections, and other stuffs.

Cambodian top brains are rewarded so well that they serve like well-oiled robots. After all, China and Vietnam have known for at least two hundred years that those brains, including the highly educated ones, are susceptible to lucrative offices and bribes.

« ជនបរទេសមិនគួរចេះឈឺឆ្អាលរឿងកម្ពុជាទេ គិតតែប្រទេសខ្លួនឯងទៅ។ »

អ្នកនាំពាក្យគណបក្សប្រជាជនកម្ពុជា សុខ ឥសាន ​ថ្ងៃទី​ ១០ ខែ​សីហា ឆ្នាំ​២០១៨  ភ្នំពេញប៉ុស្តិ៍

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Pseng-Pseng is published irregularly. Previous issues are archived at pseng-pseng.blogspot.com