My Big Fat Myanmar Wedding
Outside a makeshift church high in the mountains of
Kachin state, northern Myanmar, 30 brides fuss with their dresses, fix
each other’s makeup and wait for the opening bars of Richard Wagner’s
“Wedding March.” Their grooms stand apart in the bright sunlight,
sweating in the dark green uniforms of the Kachin Independence Army
(KIA), one of the country’s largest ethnic rebel groups. They smoke and
toe the dirt with their polished boots, trying to seem oblivious to the
scores of well-wishers waiting for them inside.
Today’s
event, a mass wedding organized by the KIA and paid for by local
businesses, may be these couples’ only chance to get married. And they
are the lucky ones.
Three years
into a war with the Myanmar government that has killed several thousand
civilians and displaced over 100,000 more, the Kachin—devout Christians
in Buddhist Myanmar—are a people under siege. With most able-bodied men
fighting to defend the patchwork rebel territory or migrating in search
of work, and few earning more than $100 per month, wedding ceremonies
are considered an impossible luxury.
Hpang, 22, and
his bride-to-be, Wahpai Shing Htang, 23, are childhood sweethearts.
After Myanmar’s army attacked their village three years ago, Htang fled
with her parents to one of the internally displaced persons (IDP) camps
along the Myanmar-China border. Hpang joined the KIA. But the cost of a
traditional marriage far exceeded his means as a low-ranking soldier
whose family had been displaced by the fighting.
Weddings in Kachin culture are a big deal. The
vows are an affirmation of their Christian identity, which sets them
apart from other Burmese. Involving in the ceremony multiple clans and
whole communities, the weddings are also expensive and hard to organize.
A typical one costs $3,000 to $4,000. On top of that, the groom must
present the bride’s family with a series of traditional gifts—ranging
from a buffalo to silk blankets and gold jewelry, and worth on average
about $2,500—before they will bless the union.
“In these troubled times, we wanted to do something
good for our soldiers,” said Lieutenant Colonel Share Zau Doi. As
commander of KIA security forces in the central region, he is an
unlikely wedding planner. But he’s clearly enjoying the day, warmly
greeting the guests and holding court with the media. For all his
sentimental bluster—he talks expansively about the beauty of holy
matrimony and the pride he takes in playing a small part in the couples’
happiness—his reasons for organizing this all-expenses-paid spectacle
are strictly military.
“Emotionally, they need the
support of wives and children. A good Christian household. When morale
is good, they are better fighters,” he said.
The
ceremony begins and the young couple, looking a little terrified, join
the procession into the church. Htang enters first, walking solemnly in
step with the other brides past the 250 or so guests seated in rows of
pastel-colored plastic chairs. Hpang follows with the grooms, and,
together, the 30 couples take their places to the right of the stage,
where the pulpit and a bright arrangement of roses, carnations and
lilies have been set up.
One of the pastors—five from
the Baptist church are on hand, along with a Catholic priest—offers
opening remarks. He wears a white tunic and ceremonial Kachin headscarf,
and he sermonizes at length about the Israelites. Their example is
popular with religious leaders here, for obvious reasons: Like the 12
tribes of the Old Testament, the Kachin are a small, embattled minority,
chosen, according to local belief, by God to keep the faith in this
forgotten corner of the world.
It’s hard to tell if any
of the brides or grooms are actually listening. Hpang and Htang aren’t
the only ones who look suddenly scared, more stunned than happy as they
face the flashing cameras and the friendly stares.
But there’s another reason for the couple to feel
nervous: Their secret, that they have been living together for the past
several years, is now public. Many of the other couples here today have
been doing the same. Some even had children out of wedlock.
“In
our Kachin society, living together without marriage is a sin. The
church cannot accept this. But marriage is difficult. So it is very
common nowadays, during the war, for couples to make some kind of secret
relationship,” said the Reverend Chinle Zau Awng, one of the Baptist
pastors. Still, he was surprised to see three couples from his own
congregation. “They did not dare face me beforehand because they were
ashamed. But when they are married, it will be OK. They can attend
church with their heads held high,” he said.
The subtext
of the mass wedding is that it provides a form of spiritual amnesty for
everyone involved. Ceremonies like this, a recent phenomenon, are a
good way of addressing the growing problem of premarital relations among
the Kachin.
There are more sermons, a musical
interlude, and a speech from the commander. About two hours into the
ceremony, the taking of the vows finally begins. The Catholics go first,
the lone priest marrying each of the three couples in turn. Then it’s
the Baptists’ turn, with all 27 pairs, forming in a semicircle at the
front of the hall and exchanging vows.
The marriage
ceremony involves a few traditional flourishes. After a woman soldier
hands out the wedding rings on a velvet cushion, the brides receive
ceremonial Kachin swords to sling around the grooms’ necks, a symbol of
strength and kinship between their families.
Not all the
couples are young like Hpang and Htang, and not all of them have been
“living in sin.” There are war widows in their 40s and 50s who are
marrying much younger soldiers, in some cases their dead husbands’
comrades.
Today the majority of Kachin, over 90
percent, are Christian, and the KIA, while officially secular, embraces
Christian values. “Without Christianity, the Kachin culture would be
extinct,” said Awng. The Kachin believe that before Christianity arrived
in their country in the 19th century, they were a wild and profligate
people, weakened by infighting and a fondness for opium. They believe
European missionaries were sent by God to lead them out of the spiritual
wilderness.
But Christianity also helped preserve
Kachin culture for a more practical reason: The missionaries were the
first to give the Kachin language a written script, romanizing it to
create the first Kachin-language Bible. Since then, most social,
intellectual and political activity has revolved around the church.
According
to Mandy Sadan, a lecturer in southeast Asian history at the University
of London’s School of Oriental and African Studies, the Kachin’s
“distinctive religious beliefs and the experience of religious
discrimination,” coupled with interethnic violence, helped galvanize
their resistance to the Burmese government—a movement which began over
50 years ago.
Captain Nlum Brang still remembers being
chased off his parents’ land by Burmese soldiers in 1965. “I joined the
KIA as soon as I was old enough. It was my duty to fight this
injustice,” he said. Two generations later, the conflict continues.
As
the ceremony wraps up and the newly married couples spill out into the
sunshine, Hpang and Htang sit together and talk about their future as
husband and wife. “It feels good,” says Htang. “No more secrets.”
They
speak confidently of a time when peace is restored, when they plan to
return home to their village and resume farming. For now, though, their
plans are on hold. There has been fresh fighting between the KIA and the
Myanmar army this week. Tomorrow, the young husband will return to his
military post, and his new wife will be left with her parents in the IDP
camp.
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