Going back is a creative process. The events of childhood are like the Hebrew alphabet; the vowels are missing, and the older self has to make sense of them. Robert Frost’s famous poem about the two paths diverging in the woods isn’t only about the two paths. It also describes how older people go back in memory and impose narrative order on choices that didn’t seem so clear at the time.
The
speakers generally live in hope and have the audacity of the
technologist. Naturally enough, they believe fervently in their
projects. “This will change everything!” they tell the crowds.
And
there’s a certain suspension of disbelief as audiences get swept up in
the fervor and feel themselves delightedly on the cutting edge. The
future will be insanely great. Everything will change at the speed of
Moore’s Law.
But
at this year’s TED conference, which was held here in Vancouver,
British Columbia, the rock star Sting got onstage and gave a
presentation that had a different feel. He talked about his rise to
stardom and then about a period in middle age when he was unable to
write any new songs. The muse abandoned him, he said — for days, then
weeks, then months, then years.
But then he went back and started thinking about his childhood in the north of England. He’d lived on a street that led down to a shipyard where some of the world’s largest ocean-going vessels were built.
Most
of us have an urge, maybe more as we age, to circle back to the past
and touch the places and things of childhood. When Sting did this, his
creativity was reborn. Songs exploded from his head.
At
TED, he sang some of those songs about that shipyard. He sang about the
characters he remembers and his desire to get away from a life in that
yard. These were songs from his musical “The Last Ship,” which he’s
performed at The Public Theater and which is expected to arrive on
Broadway in the fall.
Most
TED talks are about the future, but Sting’s was about going into the
past. The difference between the two modes of thinking stood in stark
contrast. In the first place, it was clear how much richer historical
consciousness is than future vision. When we think about the future, we
don’t think about the texture and the tensions, the particular smells,
shapes, conflicts — the dents in the floorboards. But Sting’s songs were
about unique and unlikely individuals and life as it really is, as a
constant process of bending hard iron.
Historical
consciousness has a fullness of paradox that future imagination cannot
match. When we think of the past, we think about the things that seemed
bad at the time but turned out to be good in the long run. We think
about the little things that seemed inconsequential in the moment but
made all the difference.
Then
it was obvious how regenerating going home again can be. Sting, like
most people who do this, wasn’t going back to live in the past; he was
circling back and coming forward.
Going
back is a creative process. The events of childhood are like the Hebrew
alphabet; the vowels are missing, and the older self has to make sense
of them. Robert Frost’s famous poem about the two paths diverging in the
woods isn’t only about the two paths. It also describes how older
people go back in memory and impose narrative order on choices that
didn’t seem so clear at the time.
The
person going back home has to invent a coherent tradition out of
discrete moments and tease out future implications. He has to see the
world with two sets of eyes: the eyes of his own childhood self and the
eyes of his current adult self. He has to circle back deeper inside and
see parts of himself that were more exposed then than now. No wonder the
process of going home again can be so catalyzing.
The
process of going home is also reorienting. Life has a way of blowing
you off course. People have a way of forgetting what they originally set
out to do. Going back means recapturing the original aspirations.
That’s one reason Jews go back to Exodus every year. It’s why Augustine
went back during a moment of spiritual crisis and wrote a book about his
original conversion. Heck, it’s why Miranda Lambert performs “The House
That Built Me” — to remind herself of the love of music that preceded
the trappings of stardom.
Sting’s
appearance at TED was a nice reminder of how important it is to ground
future vision in historical consciousness. Some of the TED speakers
seemed hopeful and creative, but painfully and maybe necessarily naïve.
Sting’s
talk was a reminder to go forward with a backward glance, to go one
layer down into self and then after self-confrontation, to leap forward
out of self. History is filled with revivals, led by people who were
reinvigorated for the future by a reckoning with the past.
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